Since it is now September, I think I can make the countdown official. Twenty-six days from today I will be a changed woman. Only 26 days, it seems like it was going to be a "forever" wait just a few weeks ago and now here it is that I am beginning to panic about everything. Will I get my house cleaned and organized before my Mother gets here, what are we going to do for transportation while she is here (she can't drive a standard), what is she going to do all day, will she be bored, will Matthew behave while she is here, where should she sleep, etc, etc, etc! My mind runs non-stop about this stuff. I am not so worried about the surgery, recovery, what I will drink or eat, but more so about the things around me. I think these kinds of worries are probably normal, at least I hope they are? Somebody please tell me they are! :)
I have begun to think about the surgery. I have never had real surgery. I have had a couple of both-end-oscopies over the years and a heart catheritization, but I have never been intubated and the thought of all that scares me a little. I was talking to my friend Shaye the other day about it all. She had her gallbladder removed with a laproscopic procedure and was able to tell me, without scaring me, what it was like for her. It made me feel so much better. When she says I will go to sleep and wake up and wonder if it is over yet, I believe her. She has experienced it!
I still have no doubt this is the right step for me. This is a tool, and I believe it, to help me change my life. I am so excited about these changes and look forward to every one of them, even if they aren't pleasant at that time they happen. So, let the counting begin...26...25...24...23...22...21...20...
Thanks for reading!
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Robyn, you are going to be just fine......and 10 years from now, do you think it will matter if your house was spotless when your mom was here to take care of you during an extremely special time in your life? hmmm....NOPE it won't matter! Have you stopped to ask your mate how he is feeling, fear, thankfulness, anger, guilt and anything in between? Remember to include him in the process.....I say this from listening to my friend at work who had the same surgery 2 years ago. She says she was so focused on herself that she nearly forgot her soul mate and his feelings. Only food for though my friend...Love ya Galin
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