Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be today if I had been more active as a child, if I had played sports, if I had really tried to lose weight when I was only 30 or 40 pounds overweight. You might not be able to see any contrast, but maybe things wouldn't be quite this bad.
Today, I am, at minimum, 110 pounds overweight. Because of this, I now qualify for gastric bypass surgery. I have spent the last six months in serious preparation for this life-altering operation. Two years ago I would have never considered such a surgery. I thought I was just lazy, unmotivated and lacking in will power. I certainly didn't need to have my insides rearranged in order to lose weight. I just needed to try harder...or truthfully, try period. But as the pounds have crept up to the current staggering amount, I began to think of other alternatives.
When I learned one of my coworkers had actually had full-blown, gastric-bypass surgery and lost tremendous amounts of weight, I was intrigued. This wasn't Star Jones or Carnie Wilson, this was a real live woman I could talk to and watch. She could help me understand how this worked for her, answer all my probing questions, and demonstrate how to live with the results. And she has! She has become a great inspiration to me and really influenced my decision to even go to an informational meeting about weight loss surgery. She went with me, practically held my hand, prodding me to complete the application paperwork and supporting my every step in the process.
The informational meeting was great. I came away with two thoughts that really impressed me and helped me to make my decision. The first thing the doctor emphasised is that being this kind of overweight isn't always our "fault". A genetic link to obesity has now been proven. The doctor suggested we think about our family and how many other relatives might be overweight as well. That caused me to really think about my family and how no one in my immediate family is obese. I am adopted and don't come from the same gene pool. Maybe it is genetic and my biological family is fat? What if?
The other point that was made during this lecture was that weight loss surgery, of any kind, is just a tool. The weight loss surgery is 1/3 of the equation. The other 2/3rds are diet and exercise. Another what if came to mind. What if I could lose weight and sort of start over in this process? Was 41 going to be too late to make changes? Could I do it right if I had a second chance? Would I be able to do what was asked of me in order to be successful?
I think the answer to those questions may be yes. In the last six months I have given up Coca-Cola, my all-time favorite drink. I have switched to Diet Mountain Dew or Diet A&W Root Beer. In a few weeks I will not be able to have the carbonation and have added non-carbonated beverages to my repertoire as well. We have gone from drinking syrupy-sweet, caffeinated tea at home to only lightly sweetened decaf tea. I am not supposed to have caffeine either. I have started to focus on protein in my diet and have begun actually planning my meals to center around that, another requirement of this. I have even switched my son from Kool-Aid sweetened with sugar to Crystal Light. He hasn't even noticed the difference. I think about where I park my car, just so I can walk a little farther. We have joined the YMCA and my husband and I enjoy swimming laps together. I am ready and excited about what lies ahead for me.
So, maybe it doesn't matter that I wasn't on the basketball team, didn't play softball or soccer. Perhaps this is the second chance of which we all dream? The opportunity to do it right, make changes and be who I really want to be.
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